Making Marriage Work

Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. When a marriage takes place promises are made before man and God. But over half of marriages end in divorce. This is sad because God wills that vows be kept (Numbers 30:3-4). In addition, divorce is sad because people, including children, are often hurt deeply.

When a divorce happens we often wonder, "what went wrong? Who is at fault?" Our high divorce rate is due to young people not learning what they need to know to be prepared for marriage. Parents and preachers share the blame. Fortunately, because of the many excellent resources available (books and articles on the Internet) young people can educate themselves, but unfortunately, few do.

Generally, those who seek marriage have the goal of finding a good person, and strive diligently to so do. But often diligence is not exerted in trying to be the kind of person that one seeks to marry. Making the right choice for a life partner involves much more than passion. The wise choice will be made by looking beyond the allurement of the moment to the time when beauty has faded and passion is a fading memory. The marriage that endures will be the one which brings together two people who can, because they have common goals and interests to share with one another, find greater and greater fulfillment and happiness as the years flow past. Love (charity) is the key (1 Cor 13). If a couple do not love each other selfish interests will destroy the relationship. True love involves putting the object of your love first in your life. When two people, used to having their own way in everything, marry, adjustments must be made if the marriage is to be one that is happy and fulfilling. The Bible offers a solution to this problem if we are willing to listen and learn: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Eph 5:25). Christ's love caused Him to give Himself for the church. [When on the cross Jesus said, "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" (Lu 22:42)]. Husbands are told to have this kind of love for their wives, and the Bible teaches "young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children" (Titus 2:4). Nevertheless, our selfish desires pull us in one direction while love pulls us the other way. The former will result in sorrow and discontent while the latter will bring peace, contentment and happiness. "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself" (Phi 2:3).

Realize that when you marry there is a merging of lives. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). The bonds which tie the married couple to one another are stronger than those which tie the child to his parents. So strong are these bonds that nothing save death should break them.

The church of Christ at Forum welcomes visitors and/or private home studies. See the link below for contact information: www.ForumCOC.org